This article sucks. Please make it less suckish. Or we'll sue you.
A bassist is someone who doesn't know how to play the bass guitar. That would be, like, no one. Because, come on dude, do you know how easy it is to play the bass guitar? You have no idea, do you? Ha. You don't. Oh well.
Ignorance. Plain ignorance. Just go sell something or go kill someone.
Role in the band Edit
No one really knows the bassist's role in the band, cuz, like, you got the bass drum, so, like, come on, how are you going to fit in a bassist? That's why that often the bassist is the singer or doesn't exist, like in All American Rejects or the White Stripes, perhaps. If you know those bands. Doubt you do. You suck if you don't.
Well, you suck anyway.