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A camera is that special little deathtrap that you always forget whenever something cool is happening, like the bombing of Pearl Harbor or the airplanes flying into the World Trade Center. Instead, you just get to tell people about it who don't believe you and often hang you for assuming you were a witch.

Cameras come in many different forms and shapes. While some look like CDs, others many look like cigerettes or alcohol (the non clear kind).

Kids buy those cheap little cameras at Walmart that cost like $9 so they can take some pictures and then drop the camera in a lake or expose the camera's film to sunlight and make it blow up. People who bring cameras on family vacations to take pictures are weird and scary. Those are the people who like slasher movies and want to imitate them.

If you take a picture with a camera, it usually takes about 5 minutes to take, so if you wanted to take a picture of a snake that was going to eat you in about 3 seconds, then you wouldn't be able to. That's why families have people around. Those people can run and then get run over by cars and trains.

Despite popular belief, cameras are not edible. Even though primates have been known to snack on cameras (that's what they do when they take your camera from you and go into a cave and come out with you wondering where your camera went), they often pull the lever, that all cameras have in them, up, and then they use it to chase you around with it and attempt to kill you with their binocular vision and apposable thumbs.

Also, cameras cannot talk. If your kid tells you that in the middle of the night that the camera whispered, "I'm going to kill you all," and your kid had just finished watching Camera Whisperer, don't believe him/her. It's not true. It's probably something harmless like a poisoness scorpion or a pet lion in the neighbor's yard.

Cameras do not take good pictures wherever there is light, and cannot take pictures when it is dark, so the best times to take pictures is when using a flashlight with rechargable batteries.

Photoshoots with celebrities have been proven by scientists to actually take a gun out and threaten the celebrity to give them their camera phone, and all of their money, so they can take a picture of him/her.

History Edit

It's had quite a rough history, ranging from Egyptians using them (first) to George Bush using it back in the BC times, so they're not really sure when the first camera was developed and when the first picture was taken.

See also Edit

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