Hot pockets are a type of food used to kill the consumer and/or make him/her become severely punished for the rest of his/her life. The slogan Hot Pockets uses in its commercials, "If you think it's lame, we're the ones to blame," helped it sell in places such as the Hospital, police stations, and prisons.
History[]
The Hot Pocket was invented by Freddy Pocket in 1833. He was tired of playing with his "female action figures" (Polly Pocket dolls) so he decided to "step it up a notch". He had always found himself to be hot, or at least from what a small glimpse he could see before the mirror he was looking at broke into pieces. So, he decided that it was time to go into the food service, as he found out recently that Polly Pockets weren't edible.
He soon got to work on the Hot Pocket, combing elements such as Lithium, Tobacco, Titanium, and Coke to produce a powerful mechanism that he had to name. His first suggested title for the product was "Attractive Freddy" but people said it sounded like a joke, and Freddy didn't want to embarrass himself. So he came up with the name, "My Cat PWNs All of You", but the name wouldn't fit onto the cover of the box. Next, he decided on the name "Lemme" for the beginning, because it was a nickname for "lemon."
He came up with, "Lemme Focket," ,but many people considered it to be too closely related to the "D word". Thankfully Unfortunately, Freddy died on December 17th, 1789, and his daughter, Ima, who was actually attractive, properly named it, "Hot Pocket," during watching an episode of Seinfeld. Since then, the name has stuck, and many people think that Ima Pocket invented the Pocket, but when scientists try and tell them that they are wrong, people often walk away with a bored look on their face.
Complaints[]
Many complaints have surfaced upon the eating and digesting of the Hot Pocket, many of which are related to dissing its song, "We Will Rock You", by the Beatles, that comes with it. Many people like this song, but they say that when it is digesting in your stomach and you hear the song the entire time, which could last up to three or four decades, people often develop a minor sickness known as the cold and start dying.Other complaints include how it burns your mouth after it flicks you off, and acts like it doesn't want to go into your mouth.
Many people have mentioned about the forcefullness the Hot Pockets have on people and that this usually results in people arming themselves with firearms.Also, when the Hot Pocket goes down your throat, it as been said that it steals items in your throat.
Grandma Thompson had this to say: "Well, when I swallowed it [the Hot Pocket] it stole my dentures, ripped half of my tongue off, my uvula was missing, and my tonsils were gone. I also found difficulty breathing which leads me to suspect that it took my windpipe too."
Price[]
Hot Pockets range from around $100 - 100,000 pennies.
Please be notified that this is only for a portion of the Hot Pocket, and it is the part you have to pay up front (down payment). You pay off the Hot Pocket with your monthly bill if you don't have enough money to buy all of it.