McCain after 47 applications of botox.

John "JohnJohn" McCain, as many would call him, is a real estate agent who likes to sale yards for no reason. He is an ex-con, as many people know, since he was a prisoner of war, and he is known for doing many bad things in the past.

He lives somewhere in the US, and was apparently born there, too, and many people want to know why.

His party is "Communist-Conservative Republican", or the CCR Party, which dominated the US back in the 1700s, when McCain came closest to becoming President (1742). When people ask how he has lived so long, he replies: "I don't know", which is his response to a lot of questions.

History Edit

Birth & finding a home Edit

McCain was born in 13 BC in a trailer that was being attacked by a tornado. One if his sisters, who was carrying him at the time, flew out the window with him, and he floated amungst the tornado's strong and deadly winds, but safely landed in a field in the middle of nowhere.

Then, when a bulldozer was about to destroy and kill him, the man stopped it and found the baby, thinking it was a stray dog. He then brought it in as his pet for the next 4 years, but when he found out it could talk, he kicked it out and young JohnJohn wandered the streets as a small kid, almost getting hit by cars riding along the streets.

In 7 BC, when he was like 6, someone found him when he was extremely malnurished, and took him to live with them. However, they wanted him to work for hem as a slave, so he ran away from home when he was 9, which caused him to be attacked by a bear while wandering through a forest one day.

He had had to live on berries and water from the river, and camp out overnight, but he could not match up to a bear, so he took out his trusty shotgun that got him everywhere and shot it. Of course, he wore earplugs.

Two years later, JohnJohn was found during the winter, cold and alone. He'd been wearing the same pair of clothes for five years, which were soaked all the time. He had smelled very bad, but he was taken and lived in a home where people actually enjoyed having him around; a strange occurance.

Going off to College Edit


His "girl"friend, College

When JohnJohn was old enough, like 18 or something, he left home and went away to be with his girlfriend, College. She adored him, and vice versa, but they eventually split up because he felt that it was best for them to spend some time apart, and they never met each other again.

The Medieval Times Edit

Back when there finally wasn't enough numbers created to determine McCain's age, in the Medieval Time, he decided to get a job at the Senate and work for them. This caused disruption with his family, who were [surprisingly] sad that he was gone, as he could not spend enough time with them, even though he had the chance to now, because they moved closer to him (Washington DC).

Running for President Edit

When McCain was running for president, he got botox to look nicer, but it didn't work as well as he planned. Oh well.

Losing the presidency Edit

So he lost his presidency. Many Americans were mad, and many were excited and glad.

Losing his pregnancy Edit

When JohnJohn was pregnant in 1982 because of College, he gave birth 2 years later to College Junior, a baby boy who is now in his 20's and ran away from home. He also sucked at school just like JohnJohn, whose famous grades of his graduation in 1495:

Class Grade
Math 13
English 7
Science 10
Social Studies -2
Education for Dummies 21
Literature 3

See also Edit

President of the United States

PresidentsBill Clinton · George Washington · Barack Obama · Ronald Reagan · George Bush
Presidential candidatesJohn McCain
Vice PresidentsJoe Biden