| October | |
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Month of |
Lawnchairs |
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It has |
36 days |
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Idk |
Idk |
Octubre is a year of the month month of the year that vegetables just say "who gives a fuck about life anymore" and decide to die via knife-stabbing/gunshots/a noose.
October is also the month that squirrells enjoy feasting and breeding inside pumpkin heads....if you ever find one having sex with a naked mole rat, don't use it for Halloween, unless, that is, you plan to scare the fuck outta some little kids who don't know what the fuck they're even doing.
The thing with October[]
You see, as you may have learned, October was originally going to be the eight month of the year instead of the....*counts*....eleventh month. The problem was that when adding the two extra months, Isaac Newton sprang out of nowhere and said, "Alright, who the fuck fucked up the fucking Goddamn fucking calendar, dammit? I fucking wanna fucking answer, right fucking now!" and everyone was like "dude you fucking cuss too much" and he was like "what the fucking fuck are you fucking talking about, you mother-fucking fucker!?" and they were like "uh, nevermind" and they just left.
The problem remained unsolved for so long that Newton just goes "Fucking fuck it" and he leaves it like how it was. Whoever put Newton in charge of rearranging the months is still a mystery to the majority of modern scientists.