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A pirate, also known as a tomboy, is a wannabe anti-hero who sails the seas on wooden boats and looks out of toy telescopes like a little kid, often wearing little kids' clothes, too, because it's their favorite type of clothing to wear.

A pirate likes to wear an eyepatch so he has the excuse of "terrible depth perception" for when he fails to capture someone, he wears a stupid looking hat because he caught a glance of himself in a mirror and thought he looked "moderately good", and he wears a peg on his leg so he can have an excuse for being too lazy to chase someone down other than by boat.

And the pointy sharp sticks that make up the steering wheel of the boat is what pirates use as the excuse of not driving it well as "Eyy, My hand hurt."

They talk like that because they want to sound like babies.

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